The Weight of Evil

Wake up!

It's early Sunday morning. Time to get showers, kids ready, and gather with fellow Christians. Normal day, however, there were kinks, mainly the children. We recently adopted a sibling group in January, increasing our house size from three to five. Not a minor adjustment. Sleep deprivation is one that I'm constantly asked about, and I've come to realize that it includes other slightly underrated deprivations, mainly, Bible reading and prayer. It is interesting that many Christians will ask about lack of sleep instead of lack of Bible or prayer, and lately, I've been getting less of all three, but that is not my main point.

Today, dealing with some of the issues during the adjustment period with the kids, I have become more aware of the evilness in the world, particularly the evil enacted upon children, specifically, what might have happened to my children. To see signs that children have suffered such evil is a terrible thing, and driving to church this intense, heavy burden of what I have seen in the past few years visited upon children really overtook me. The girl, which shares the same name as one of our daughters, was stabbed, another girl, same age as our other daughter, was sexually abused, murdered, and tossed in the garbage, the killings at Columbine and Sandy Hook schools, it all hit me in an overwhelming weight, what I call the weight of evil.

I can only describe it as a crushing, depressing, surge of sadness for the brokenness of the world. I came to a realization, not something profound, but something radically simple. This is what Jesus felt when heading to the cross. In the garden, Jesus was facing ultimate wrath, separation from God, pain and suffering, but, also, He was acknowledging all sin for which He was paying, including mine, so much so His blood was sweating from His pores. Today, I received just a taste of the immense sadness He felt for the world at that moment, as He felt every sin, not just mine, and what I listed above, but every single sin of the world's sinners.

A friend of mine, Randy, asked this past week what the cross means to me, and I believe my answer became clear this morning. I have, had and will sin against God for the entirety of my life. Nothing I do is good. Every action, thought, and feeling occurring from myself always has my interests at the top of the list. Like a pest, I have infested God's creation, searching for what I want, fulfilling my needs, entertaining my thoughts, and letting my emotions go wild. And when I have a pest, all I want is to be rid of it, and God has infinitely more reasons to be displeased and get rid of me, than I do of the ants, termites, roaches, rats, snakes or any other pests. God could have poured out His wrath on me at any time, and be completely loving and executing justice by doing so. But this next word is my favorite word within this context.

However, the cross is where God poured His wrath, my punishment, upon Jesus for my sin.

So back to driving to Sunday service, I prayed for the pastor and his message that it would relieve this burden I felt for the world and the evil abounding in it. To my dismay, the sermon was on prayer, which as I mentioned before had been lacking due to deprivations of becoming a family of five. I listened, took notes, but I was simply unsatisfied. The last point of the message was that prayer will get results (James 4:2). The message was over, and he mentioned the song we would sing, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." Here are the lyrics (highlighted for emphasis):

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

At the bold portion listed above, the entire sermon clicked, the light bulb went on, and my prayer was answered. The weight of evil lifted from my shoulders, as I realized Jesus took that weight of evil to the cross and paid for it. While this does not shrink my responsibilities in bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth (in regard to good works inspired by the Spirit), it did lift the burden of the evil we are fighting, because Jesus already bore it through carrying and dying on the cross.

Don't get me wrong. Evil is occurring, and we need to fight against the injustices, but here is my final thought. The people committing these injustices are sinners, just like you and me, and these sinners' sins have been carried to the cross by Jesus, just like ours has. Let's tell them about it, shall we?